I’m the good guy, the nice friend who covets secrets and cries so you don’t have to. I am the asshole who is responsible for your reasons to cry. I am generous, giving of all my worth with out a second thought. And I am a selfish complaining child who wants the world or nothing. Today I woke up at one in the afternoon, yesterday I woke up at seven in the morning. The day before it was eleven. I’m one hundred percent legally diagnosed schizophrenic. Or do I only have an overactive imagination. I have clinical ADHD, it keeps me from concentrating on anything for any extended period of time. Or is it that I am just bored?

If I could choose one super power, it would be omnilingual. So that I can talk with everyone in this world, in their language, as though I had been born and raised in their countries. So that I can travel anywhere in this world and feel at home. I despise people, and the meeting there of, I’d rather sit alone at home with a book than meet someone new. People talk too much anyway. I dream of greatness, I’m also afraid of success. I struggle with all my might to become something else, something better then who I am. I’m a lazy person who just doesn’t care to change anything because it takes too much time. I’d be fine working for minimum wage in a dead end life. I’d also be fine with millions and a mansion. I dwell constantly in the past. I have such big dreams for the future. I’m a bibliophile who hates reading.

I’m well spoken, read, traveled and educated. I’m the smart guy, the intimidating one people feel uncomfortable around because I know more than they do. I ‘m a middle school drop-out who can’t do basic math in his head. I also have a speech impediment where I slur words often. I have a unique cultural identity. I’m just like everyone else. A born father, loving and attentive, strict and playful. I hate kids, and refuse marriage. I’m spontaneous and fun to be around. I’m a shut-in who’s afraid to leave his house for anything other than work. I am the contradiction of my existence, or was my existence a contraction of me? I have strong political beliefs, but I never watch the news. I’m a philosopher who can only dream of things and never argue them. I’m intelligent. I’m an idiot. I am neutral on all things, I’m a passive person who can take a beating and still remain on the sidelines. I’m a hot blooded activist, a stubborn insisting bastard who would throw a punch to prove a point. I hate violence. I’m pessimistic, nothing will ever work out in the end, it will only make me hurt. The glass isn’t just half full, it’s overflowing into another one, go-get-em attitude, everything will be better than fine.

Who am I? I am whoever you want me to be, but I can only really just be me.

~Milky, milky@theguthan.com